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Don't look now, but marriage experts so no to eye rolling

While most people probably don't want to admit it or even think about it, there's a very good chance that they've been involved in some sort of argument with their significant other in the not-too-distant past.

While the majority of these arguments were more than likely minor and quickly forgotten, there were also undoubtedly some that seemed especially nasty and perhaps even difficult to put in the past. 

Those married couples involved in these sorts of arguments may want to take a moment to look back at the row. Specifically, they may want to examine whether they or their spouse rolled their eyes during the course of the heated exchange and, if so, take steps to ensure this doesn't happen again.

That's because a rather significant study from the Relationship Research Institute previously determined that eye rolling in response to a spouse's statement during an argument was identified as the single greatest predictor of divorce, ahead of even stalling and criticism. 

According to the researchers, the principal problem with eye rolling is that it is interpreted by spouses on the receiving end as arrogant, insulting and even dismissive, even if that is not what the offending spouse meant to convey.

Over the course of time, the researchers argue, repeated eye rolling during arguments can serve to break down communication between the spouses, creating distance and even complete withdrawal from the marriage.

The good news is that there are a few simple steps that married couples can take to eliminate eye rolling from arguments or to help minimize the damage that it can cause:

  • If your spouse's eye rolling angers you or makes you feel dismissed, take the time to discuss this with them during an otherwise tranquil time, being careful to use "I" statements.
  • If you find yourself prone to rolling your eyes during an argument with your spouse, learn to identify when you are feeling the urge and substitute a less destructive action such as looking away or taking a deep breath.  

What are your thoughts on the findings of the Relationship Research Institute as they relate to the danger of eye rolling? Have you found it to be destructive? Were you able to work through it?

Remember, those who would like to learn more about divorce or divorce alternatives here in Texas may want to consider speaking with an experienced legal professional to learn more about their rights and their options.

Source: KRIV, "Contempt the top predicting factor in divorces," Mary Jo Rapini, March 27, 2014

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